Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Why I Hate Spring
- or -
Why I Am Grateful for Four Wheel Drive

I was driving home from the "zoo" today and thinking about how muddy my stinking driveway is. I was contemplating ways to make said driveway less of a pain to navigate, and also ways to keep my family and friends clean while getting in and out of their cars.

When I got to the turn off for my road, this is what I found:

It was so nice of the highway department to set out that orange cone, just in case I failed to notice the gaping chasm in the road.

I continued homeward only to find this creek where my driveway should be:

So, uh, does anyone else think that that culvert under the driveway is plugged?

See those weeds in the middle of the picture? Under the water on the near side of the weeds is my driveway and under the water on the far side of the weeds is a canal. Needless to say, canal and creek/driveway have merged.

I bravely navigated the creek, with the help of my trusty Sherman tank. What follows is a progression of pictures that capture my trip up to my house.

Aaah. Home at last. Nothing says "welcome home" like ankle-deep mud and manure.

These last pictures don't do justice to the depth of the mud which, by the way, is not a new thing. The vast amounts of standing and running water are new today, but the mud has been with us since fall in varying degrees of depth and squishiness, depending on the weather.

Friends and family are welcome to come visit but the following is recommended:

  • Chest waders or irrigation boots
  • Cell phone (to call for help if you get stuck)
  • One of those locaters skiers use in case of avalanche. This probably won't save your life, but it may make finding your bloated corpse before summer a lot quicker of a task.
  • Water wings
  • Personal GPS device
You know, maybe you should just bring a boat.

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