Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Why Don't I Just Take My Shirt Off and Light My Hair On Fire?

I opened the door first thing this morning to let Spanky out for his morning tinkle and there was a chicken out of the chicken run. I don't know how she got out, but I ran out in my jammies to try to get her back inside the fence before Spanky could catch her. She was near the gate so I opened the gate, hoping to shoo her inside. Instead, the goats, having been alerted by my calls of "Come back here, you stupid chicken! Do you want to get eaten?", pushed their way out of the open gate and scared the chicken away.

At this point, I'd like to add that it was raining and in my rush to save the stupid chicken's life I had left the door open.

Goats don't like rain. They don't like to be wet at all. They have a nice, dry, heated chicken coop with beds of straw to lay on, but they definitely prefer my house. So when they saw the open door, they made straight for the couch.

My dilemma: catch the chicken and save her from the clutches of the murderous Cocker Spaniel, or get the goats off of my furniture and save myself from a morning of shampooing my couch and carpet.

Additionally, being in my jammies, I was bra-less. Adam was standing in the doorway calling "Maaaammmmaaaaaa" because it's cold and raining and the door is open and he wants me to come back inside. He doesn't care about the goats being inside, to him they are just dogs.

It was at this point that one of the farm hands sauntered over. (Oh my GOSH! I'm not wearing a bra and I'm in my PAJAMAS!) He tries to strike up a conversation. I kind of know the guy because he worked with Morgan prior to working out here.

Now I am facing total humiliation, certain death of one chicken, and the destruction of my furniture. What's a girl to do?

I got it all sorted out in the end, but now the question that is weighing heavily on my mind is: why do I care so much about being seen without a bra? For me, it's just one step down from being completely topless.

I'd like to add that yelling "Come back here, you stupid chicken! Do you want to get eaten?" doesn't make the chicken any more willing to allow itself to be caught, but it did make me feel like less of an idiot to say something while chasing her.


Perpetual Mommy Exhaustion said...

Put your hair in curlers and get a mumu. It's just time.

That Girl said...

Is it bad that I laughed from beginning to end of this post?

Yeah. Probably.

Cristina said...

You have no idea how hard that made me laugh.....

I always thought crazy situations like that only happened to me, and the cast of Monty Python. I'm so glad I have a kindred out there!