Saturday, June 27, 2009

Minions of the Devil Come In Many Different Guises

My love for animals is beginning to turn into a serious problem.

Last week, when visiting the Wards, I noticed that they had a litter of three little kitties frolicking about. The kittens must have been around 4-6 weeks in age, just at the really cute stage where they bounce everywhere and play with everything. I thought that it would be fun to catch one and introduce Adam to the world of cute kittens. They were pretty wild, however, so my attempts at kitten trapping were fruitless.

Then a few days later we were at the Ward's house again. We didn't leave until it was dark and as we opened the door I saw two kittens scramble off of the porch while the other one froze just inches from my foot. I exclaimed "Kitties!", reached down with my left hand and seized the kitten around its ribcage. It was at this point that the cat morphed into a crazed demon monster. It was hissing, growling and spitting from the front end and trying to disembowel me from both the front and back ends. I wisely decided that putting the animal down would be prudent so I reached in with my right hand to steady the fiend as I lowered it to the ground. The kitten (and I use the word 'kitten' only in the most technical of manners) seized the opportunity to attempt to eviscerate me. It clamped its tiny yet needle-sharp fangs onto my thumb. I felt four small teeth puncture my skin. I then decided that I no longer cared about the safety and comfort of my attacker and released my grip. I was shocked to find that the kitten was still dangling from my hand by its freaking teeth!

At some point during all of the commotion, I began to make inhuman noise of panic and suffering, which alerted my conscientious husband to my situation. He assisted me by producing his own noises - howls of laughter.

Finally, the little demon released its hold on me and I retreated to the safety of our car with Morgan and Adam. I could feel my pulse in my thumb, the pain throbbing in time with my heart beat. We made the short drive home with Morgan still laughing and me alternating between laughing and crying. I was bleeding and it hurt!

I soaked my thumb in peroxide and applied liberal amounts of antibiotic ointment. I suffered only a few days of a sore thumb and now I'm left with four small scabs where the feline's teeth punctured my skin. It's funny now, just as it was funny then, but I'm reminded that not all animals love me like I love them.

In addition, I'm grateful that it was dark and Adam was unable to see what was going on. If he had, he would probably be scarred for life and carry an extreme aversion to cute fluffy kitties.

Do not be deceived. "Basket of Evil" could very well be a fitting title for the above image.

***After posting this last night and reading it again this morning, I've decided that the above picture really isn't all that misleading. Check out that cat on the right. He might as well be wearing a "Hello. My name is Beelzebub" sticker.

In the immortal words of Sammy the Cocker Spaniel: "Catsth - Yuck!"

1 comment:

Perpetual Mommy Exhaustion said...

"Basket of Evil" would also be a great name for a band.