All of the following things have been said by me at some point in my nine years of motherhood:
"Please don't poke him in the eye."
"Don't put tuna fish between your toes!"
"Please eat your chocolate pudding with your spoon and not your toes."
"Who put Spongebob in the fridge?"
"That's not chap stick, it's a glue stick!"
And my new personal favorite, uttered just moments ago: "Why is there a (live) chicken on the couch?"