Mom: Mike, your primary teacher called last night and told me that you volunteered to be in the Christmas program this evening. You'll be a wise man.
Mike: I never volunteered.
Mom: She said that you said you'd do it.
Mike: No, I didn't.
Mom: Well, I already told her that you would.
Mike: I think she has me confused with somebody else. I don't want to.
Mom: Dude. The party is in a couple of hours. You have to.
Mike: *GIANT sigh* I guess I'll do it if they can't find anybody else.
Mom: They can't find anybody else. Would you like to help me figure out a costume?
Mike: I don't want to wear a costume. Do I have to?
Mom: You don't have to but you'll be the only wise man without one.
Mike: I don't care.
Mom: Okay....... You also need to take something to carry as a gift for the baby Jesus. Maybe you could make a gold box out of Legos.
Mike: *excitedly* Okay! *runs to room to begin construction*
******
Mom: Noel, would you like to be in the pr-
Noel: YES! What do I get to be?
Mom: One of the heavenly hosts; an angel.
Noel: Do I get to wear a costume?
Mom: She said to have you wear something white.
Noel: I don't have anything white. *GIANT sigh* I guess I'll just wear this. How will everyone know I'm an angel?
Mom: They'll give you a halo to wear.
Noel: What's a halo?
Mom: One of those gold things above an angel's head.
Noel: SWEET! (running out of the room) Hey, Dad! I'm gonna be in the Christmas program and I'm going to be a host!
Mike: *rolls eyes*
******
*Upon telling Mike of her brilliant idea to make a beard using a piece of felt and a couple pieces of elastic*
Mom: *excitedly* Hey, Mike! Do you want me to make you a beard? I can do it in just a few minutes.
Mike: No.
Mom: Come on! It'll be really cool.
Mike: I don't want a beard. *stalks away*
Mom: *mutters under her breath* I guess you'll be a pre-pubescent wise man in jeans and a t-shirt, then. *glancing over at Dad* What about you? Should I make you a beard? I can make it really full and it will be completely filled in.
Dad: *shoots poison dart looks in Mom's direction*
Mom: Come on, that was funny. *reaches out to hug Dad*
Dad: Don't touch me! *stalks away*
Mom: *considers making the beard anyway because it was a really good idea*
******
*In the car on the way to the church*
Noel: Do you think I'll be on the ground or in the air?
Mom: You mean will they hang you from a rope so that it looks like you're flying?
Noel: Yeah.
Mom: I'm pretty sure you'll just stand there.
Noel: Aww! I want to be in the air.
Mom: But you'll get to wear a halo.
Noel: Oh, yeah. SWEET!
******
*Upon arrival at the church, seeing that all other wise men/shepherds are indeed wearing costumes*
Mike: I guess I'll wear a costume.
Mom: *biting tongue and holding back chastisement because it is, after all, Christmas* Let's go find your teacher and see if they have a costume for you.
Noel: *participating in rowdy and decidedly un-angelic running through the gym with the other "hosts"* When do I get my halo?
******
*The wise men arrive at the stable to pay homage to the baby Jesus. Two of the wise men carry boxes wrapped in shiny paper. The third, who has only one arm (the other being wrapped beneath the sheet that enshrouds him and is tied about his waist with a rope), carries an exquisite golden box constructed entirely of Legos. The audience doesn't realize that the box is filled with small Lego jewels and coins. The one-armed wise man clearly looks as if he'd rather be anywhere else, as is seen by his surly expression. When he catches sight of his parents in the audience who are near wetting themselves with mirth at the sight of his bound arm, a small smile cracks his stony facade. He gently places his gift at the bed of baby Jesus.*
My heart is full as I sit surrounded by people I love and who love me, celebrating the birth of our Savior.
1 comment:
It was literally the best Christmas pageant I had ever seen. The angels were unruly! Joseph was bored stiff! There was a dancing star!
C'mon! Even Jesus thought it was fully awesome.
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