Thursday, July 9, 2009

The Best Laid Plans of Monkeys and Women

The plan:

Fix a hole in the cover of the lawn mower bagger belonging to our landlord with a $30 fiberglass repair kit instead of ordering the replacement part for $150.

Project deadline:


Project start date:

Thursday afternoon.

The result:

Lessons learned:

  • Procrastination is not my friend.
  • Fixing the bagger with a $30 repair kit instead of ponying up $150 is a great idea - in theory.
  • Fiberglass resin stinks. Bad.
  • Fiberglass resin is sticky and permanent.
  • Fixing the bagger on the kitchen table is not a good idea.
  • One should always make sure the resin lid is securely fastened to prevent spills of resin on the above mentioned kitchen table and tile floor.
  • If you step in spilled resin, everything you step on will become part of your foot.
  • Fiberglass resin eats through latex gloves and Styrofoam plates.
  • Fiberglass resin burns with prolonged skin contact.
  • Rings should be removed before applying the resin in order to keep them from being permanently attached to your finger.
  • A team of retarded chimps could have done a better job applying the fiberglass than two competent women.
I have to take this to my landlord tonight because she wants to use it tomorrow. I'm considering telling her that I left the bagger along with the repair kit on my patio overnight and when I woke up this morning it was already finished. Then I'll tell her that I suspect it was elves, like in the story "The Elves and the Shoemaker." Then I'll tell her that there is no way I'm sewing elf-sized clothes for those little incompetent buggers.

All that matter is that it works, right?

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